“A Lie Cannot Live in the Starless Midnight, Part II” From The Allure of a Summer Evening by Ashlee Craft

A Lie Cannot Live in the Starless Midnight – Part 2

gypsy songs floated faintly thru the misted & mistaken & misheard & misunderstood depths of the human soul roaring & flying thru the towering buildings / I waited & I watched love being born in the slums & rich neighborhoods & in the city streets where musicians sung sweet hymns to the golden-gated bridges as the people passing by swallowed their pride & provided the quarter kin jugs to the people

taxis never slept & neither did I as I took my newfound knowledge & pushed forwards within the realms of the bells chimes singing in the doorways / but soon the false success I had gathered in that café, so many months ago, had soured & I was on my own again, although the embers of profundity remained on my soul, waiting to be rekindled

I thought that I’d be happy in the new place I’d arrived at but instead found myself clawing the pavement with my eyes wide open in an attempt to dig myself out of the corner I’d so carefully drawn myself into, thinking I was on the right path but finding myself walking in footsteps that had already been built by various soldiers & the dark & light uncolored songs reflecting against the transparent bricks in solitary silence, & I didn’t want to walk in those shoes, which just didn’t fit / limited to the corner, I scribbled forbidden lyrics along the windowpanes and tore at the steely curtains but my hands could not manipulate the metal / limited to the corner, I stared at the dead-end fence in front of my face & wondered why I’d even come down that street in the first place / at first I was content to stand & admire the corner & it seemed like the safest place in earth my fate seemed set in stone but soon I realized I never did want to be in that corner but I didn’t know how to get out / all I wanted to do was be myself not live somebody else’s life in a reflection of their dusty shattered past / my creativity went down in the dusty dumpsters & stirred the spoons of fate around the empty cup but I felt as though I owed somebody something / I had been blindly led down the road upon the wind’s direction of west to east seemingly plausible directional movement jumping onto the boxcars as they pulled from the station / I tried to confine myself to the corner believing fate was behind me every step of the way, the great words had been written for me & me alone, & it was time for me to open the box belonging to Pandora / but those were all falsities; I was stuck in the corner with a forbidden fence I didn’t dare to cross

the year spent in that corner I’d built guided me onto the road I was about to receive & prepared me for the soaring of my soul & the Spreading of My Wings / I had found the map to destiny that night on the street & I had found the golden guitar…I’d found my voice too / but could not stand in footsteps already standing alone in the surreal golden sands where the desert wind blew thru the orange air, could not mold myself into the molds already built / I could not limit myself by the predefined notions I expected of myself, notions which were set by those who I no longer believed in

one night I found my thoughts drifting from the corner / I set down the unused pen & gently pushed the gates away from me & declared myself independent of aliases / the gates opened

there was nobody else out in the world that was just like me & that was just the way I wanted things to be / I was going to build the footsteps & break away the molds & chains / I was going to be free

I had to become myself / had to become the person I knew I needed to be / everyone always repeated & quoted old proverbs about being yourself but if you don’t know who you are, how can you be yourself?

a drunken miser stumbled from the ice cold air of the bar & dropped his hat down on the sidewalk & wandered off into the cold night air / I saw a young mother cradling a newborn in her arms, wrapped in a cloth of gold

I burst from the corner & left behind the notions in the tin cans which had provided me with meals I needed to grow & survive / finding myself at an unfamiliar crossroad & not having anywhere else to go I took a turn down one of the streets / I passed by clotheslines strung between buildings / I learned who I was which each step I took away from the main road & the city streets so hard on a soul

a man walked alone with his hands in his pockets staring at the ground & passed by a woman wearing a dark white hat, whose smile he didn’t see / a penny shone on the sidewalk & a child holding the hand of her father picked it up

shivering cold & wandering lost lost lost thru the emptiness of city streets, I tried to wrap myself in the plastic poncho as I strove to find happiness but within each crevice I searched, disappointing emptiness engulfed me / trying to pretend that I was satisfied with my search, I gave up looking so that I wouldn’t see the reflections of the tears in my soul that I knew were there despite the shattering of the mirror / although I smiled along with the rhythm of the falling rain, the plastic falsity of it all was right behind me ready to reach out & grab me / cringing at the readiness of my decision, I withdrew from the sorrow, desperately trying to find solid footing on the rainy earthquake streets / the city streetlamps reflected on the rainy cement but all sense of direction was lost / I wandered onwards, constantly wondering whether I should return to the corner where I had been safe & warm & well fed, or whether to journey onwards into the unknown streets / the corner seemed surprisingly cozy in comparison to the empty streets where I seldom met someone to which I connected / several times, I turned & began to head in the direction of the corner, but the memories of it soured with each mile I walked & I knew that I could not return to the source of my misery

fear engulfed me as repetition repetition repetition engulfed me like the sailboat out in the hurricane / my feet slipping in the rain as I persevered, pounding on my soaked skin as I hid beneath the cloak, exhausted by failure / grasping desperately for that which I sought, turning on heel to reconsider my choices / I retreated towards the brick wall & forgot about my destiny / I gave up on searching

time flew by & I lost my place / the brick wall crumbled behind me but I remained there, unsure of which direction I had come from & which direction I should go / for several months, I turned with the rising & setting of the sun, reaching out towards each direction in its respective turn / blind / forgetting in the darkness / blind to my soul

and then I opened my eyes / it was the twelfth day of the tenth month / twilight was near & the twinkling of the stars reflected against the loneliness of the rain dampened streets / silence & solemnity surrounded me & the only sound I could hear was the lost sound of my footsteps on the pavement / echoing in the night night night / lost sounds

rhythm of jazz led by the dazzling trumpeter had failed me / plastic falsities of sugarcoated lies & false ideals of beauty had failed me / roughing it in the woods had failed me / jumping onto the boxcar & forging my way in an unforgiving world had failed me / I stood against the brick wall, reaching blindly out into the darkness for the hands of friends which I could not find

walking walking walking walking walking / on the pavement / walking walking walking

a sound awoke my ears / as solid & powerful as the ground beneath my feet, as graceful as the wind blowing, the sound entered my soul & remained

I turned down the street not knowing the direction but heading for the sounds of hope and of destiny / I was looking for somebody to love and I needed to break free, & suddenly somebody really understood / I knew it was where I needed to be, basking in the rays from the sunlit Queen

four people stood around in the street, looking larger than life as the beat of the music played / on and on and on, never stopping / I stood in the shadows listening, clinging to each word like a life preserver in the lonely sea I had been lost in for so long / a ship returning home / I had found the friends I had searched for so long to find, suddenly standing right before my eyes

harmonious outbreak of a song of hope played thru the stagnant night, carried on by the voices, breaking thru the chains which I had enslaved myself in / in harmony they sung & I knew that was where my destiny had always laid / & for the first time in so long, the wind blew thru the stagnant alleyways & empty souls, illuminating all who it touched with the sunlight of the music / I looked up into the darkened night sky illuminated illuminated illuminated by the bright hope of the full moon / satisfaction & direction had returned at last in a world of change & love & light & hope

we could be told a million times not to follow our hearts, but we would not leave behind what we knew was right, we would not falter in our singing of undying light / we would never falter, no matter how hard the rain fell or the wind blew / we would stand brave & strong in the face of the storm, waiting for the rainbow which would follow it / we would never falter, & as we had found each other, nothing could stop us now

I joined in with their voices & harmonies of hope joined in together & drifted up thru the air, up to the heavens where they were amplified / suddenly neither time nor space meant anything, for this moment surpassed anything describable yet was more tangible than anything I had ever experienced / & at that moment I was sure that for just that one second, all of humanity was freed / I spread my wings & soared on the wind / soaring up above the dingy buildings & into the sacred sky / wars paused in their footsteps for that one second to hear the song, time froze, decades mingled & love soared / & the world around me suddenly became all that I had ever dreamed of

as the song ended & floated gently away, the notes remained in my soul & contained something more profound than anything else I had ever known, & their was no doubt in my mind that I road I was on was where I was meant to be / I had discovered a world of beauty that I never knew existed / I had seen for the first time

as I continued down the road & away from the hard life of the city streets & towards the sacred countryside where I would make my name, I knew exactly what I needed to do / I had found my place in the world at last

the moon lit the sky above me & the stars were shining like heaven’s own eyes as the world was smiled down upon & watched me walk off down the street, illuminated by the glow of the music dancing within / the world was perfect, for I had found true happiness at last / I was free

a lie cannot live in the starless midnight –

but love can

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